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England will miss Stuart Broad's bowling, but we'll miss his antics even more.

Stuart Broad has preserved many of his fine ball and ball games for the Australians. Photo: Getty Images/Richard Heathcote

Such is Stuart Broad's talent for penetrating the Australian psyche that in some parts of Queensland he is only mentioned in code. T27YOMP: This is how the Brisbane Courier-Mail presented him throughout Ashes 2013-14, in a fit of vexation on the Broad, stealing Ashton Agar to slip on Trent Bridge last summer and refusing to walk. 27 year average pace. At first glance, it seemed too serious for a bowler capable of 90 mph at his best to slip away.

«What are we going to do about Broad when he gets to Gabba?» the editor asked at the conference. The newspaper brought back the answer the next morning, with the front page pleading with fans to deal with «the self-righteous rascal Pommie» in silence. This will show him, they thought. It would make him boil on the fallacy of his path. But Broad's trick lies in his ability to turn mischief into pure adrenaline. Indeed, on the first day of the first test, he took five wickets for 65 and showed up to greet local journalists with the Courier-Mail number under his arm.

Broad is now 37 years old, but his mantle of England's chief tormentor is uncontested. His line to Alex Carey after the goaltender set fire to Johnny Barstow in Lord — «that's all you'll be remembered for» — became so iconic that it was destined to be printed on Barmy Army coffee mugs. Even Ben Stokes, who was not shy about some exchanges in the middle, could not help but be amazed at the impudence of his opponent later. — Brody, he was on one, wasn't he? the captain chuckled. «He really was on one.»

There are few spectacles in cricket that are as exciting as the Broad when it is «at once». Whether it's annoying the Aussies or playing havoc with a new ball, he tends to conjure up his splendor in bursts. His eight out of 15 at Nottingham in 2015, which reduced Australia to 60, is arguably the most unplayable single bowling game ever created by an Englishman. But it's comfortable next to his other bright purple spots, from his five-of-37 at the Oval in 2009 to his seven-of-44 at Lord four years later against New Zealand. His greatest hits collection is a true museum piece.

Broad is such a coil in Cinder mode that you never know who he's going to run into next. It feels like a whole country this year, and Brod is so outraged by the strict lockdown England had to endure on their latest Covid-hit tour — one they just lost 4-0 — that he intends to review the series. . like a void. It helps, of course, that the skin of its prey is thinner than parchment. As soon as he directed his derision at Carey, the Western Australian made fun of him as a clown with rainbow hair and a red nose.

The front page of The West Australian under the name of Broad proves again that he knows how to piss off those who live in the Downworld. this ashes Credit: Getty Images/Stu Forster

What these resentful tabloids never seem to take into account is that the more they rattle, the more Broad enjoys playing the clockwork salesman. Although most of the act is pantomime, he is not afraid to take his provocation to the extreme. Take his first remark after Australia defamed Sandpaper-gate, where, referring to the Ashes' recent tour in England, he said, «Sometimes they would swing the ball backwards in conditions you didn't expect.» Did he accuse them of the same scam they had done in Cape Town? He did not insist, but the comment was worded in such a way as to cause maximum noise.

This summer the Broad didn't seem to have the same destructive power that it had in the past, as the only truly mesmerizing bowling show in England so far has been owned by Mark Wood. But in his love of psychological needles, his contribution remains indispensable. He adores his power over his rabbit David Warner, whose wicket he took 17 times. For the 13th time, in Sydney last year, he even hosted a rabbit ear party for good measure.

For all his harassment of Warner, Broad has yet to get an A against Australia this year, a departure from the norm by his standards. But his innate theatricality ensures that you remember the wickets he doesn't take nearly as well as the ones he does. The secret is to perfect the art of «celebration.» You're already familiar with the spectacle: Brod, in his shiny white bandanna, looking like Rambo trying out for a detergent commercial, races to the fourth pass with his arms outstretched triumphantly before chiding the judge with an extravagant look of horror on his cheek. not to lift a finger.

It's a well-honed repertoire that threatens to be conspicuous by its absence when it's gone forever. In rough numbers, his influence may be waning, but he is still one of those rare figures who can pass the test due to the sheer strength of his personality. Stokes knows it too: While Broad contributed just 11 points to the pair's 100th partnership at Lord's, it was his cocky attitude that engendered the belief that the team could write the last word in rearguard defiance. England will miss the bowler Broad, but they will miss his vaudeville antics even more.

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