England captain Ben Stokes has kept his allegiance to James Anderson in this series of Ashes. Photo: Getty Images/Clive Mason
Of course there were no returns that I would like in this series. Everyone goes through a period of poverty, but you just don't want it to be in the loudest series we play.
Ten or 15 years ago, the debate would have been about whether I should be fired. Now about my future. I understand it. This is the Oval, the end of a series and a time for reflection.
I keep talking to the coach and the captain. They want me to be there, so as long as I'm still hungry, want to work, I'll do my best for the team. This is exactly where I am right now.
I love playing Test cricket as much as ever and this is my favorite period as an English cricketer. Just to be in this group, to watch how we play and how we have fun on the field. There are no thoughts about retirement.
If I was a terrible bowler, slowing down and limping around the field, I might think differently. But the hunger is still there. I feel like I'm good at bowling, so I can still offer something to the team. I felt like I played well at Old Trafford and if I get another chance this week I'll just keep trying the same and hope my luck changes.
It's just one of those things. There are always one or two players who have a poor streak. It could be a batter who gets good balls and then gets a bit unlucky. I felt like it was my week in Manchester. I felt like I batted a lot of times but just didn't take the wickets you want like a bowler to help the team win.
There were a couple of times I hit a tight five after the spell Woody came out and immediately took the wicket. It feels like maybe I created the pressure and then Woody came out and let loose. It's a team effort.
It's funny how you know you're having a bad show when everyone else has shots of their wickets cut together and posted on Instagram, but the only post about me is tossing a ball for cricket when he was patted on the back. me in the middle.
Anderson has beaten the bat several times for no award in this series. Photo: Getty Images/Oli Scarff
I've chatted with a few guys because it's frustrating when you're going through it. You are frustrated and desperate to help the team, desperate to win games. But, unfortunately for me, this series was not. If I get a chance, I still have one more game to play and I'll try to do my best.
I was asked if I had ever seen such heavy rain at Old Trafford as the last two days of the test. The answer is positive. In fact, I've seen that kind of rain for four days.
To be in such a dominant position after three days and have it all end so that everyone feels overwhelmed and disappointed that we couldn't finish it. off
After the game, Ben Stokes had a two to three minute chat with the group before talking to the press. He told us to think about the bigger picture, to be proud of how we played. We will continue to do what we are trying to do, we will continue to put slackers in their seats and inspire the next generation.
He said that this team will be remembered for more than the streak or the trophies it won. We have become more than winning. We're trying to leave a legacy and all my friends, family and people I meet on the street have come up and said that watching this team was amazing. People really got into the spirit of it. They like the way we play.
We are judged by the results, that's fine. People can do it. But Ben and Brandon McCallum will judge us for being true to ourselves and what we want to do as a team, how we want to play. There is a big picture. It feels like they're trying to create something special and we're doing it. It will be an exciting few years.
Ben Stokes told the England players they can be proud of their efforts against Australia. Photo: Getty Images/Oli Scarff
The group has no regrets. On another day we could win at Edgbaston. We lost to Lord by 43 points, which is quite low for a test match. We looked good at Lord's before Johnny Bairstow was stumped. We feel that we adhere to the spirit of the team, what the captain and coach want from us. We have stuck to our principles and what we have done well over the past 18 months, no matter what the outside noise and results are. It started to pay off at Headingley and at Old Trafford.
It's disappointing that we can't win the Ashes, but we can equalize. We love to win cricket games and no matter how the captain says it's not about the result but how we do business obviously we want to win games and we will try to win this week no matter what.
< p>We don't care that the Australians haven't won here since 2001. We don't think about them. We want to win the game for ourselves. Simple. That's all that's at stake for us.
Johnny Bairstow is the one who will be fired this week. He had a great test in Manchester and it was amazing to play him until he was 99. When I came out I was gutted. When we left, I said I owed him a beer. He said, “Don't worry, we got 60+.”
We were just trying to upset them. My job was to get away from the kick, to face the odd ball but back it up. He pulled me on dates. We said that when they throw the bouncer, it's very high for the goalie, so it should be a doable goodbye. All it took was a loud call. I didn't look back. I just heeded his call and ran as fast as I could.
We got a message sent when Johnny was at 60 saying two more overs and we would announce. Then he hit 20 over those two overs and went into the 80s and then we looked up and nothing came out of the locker room. Then we started thinking about a hundred. I had a smile on my face, I enjoyed it, I just kept saying a great punch every time he hit the boundary. He was a little out of his element, a little glazed over, and he had goggling eyes.
The hardest thing for him was to stay away because of the injury. But you could see how his punch lifted him. In the second serve, he held up much better. His legs moved well and I thought he held himself brilliantly, so I hope the confidence stays with him.
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