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Lauren Steadman: I can make it look like I ate my entire forearm

Lauren Stedman won gold in the triathlon at the Tokyo Paralympics. Credit: Getty Images/Brett Cove

Lauren Steadman won gold in the triathlon at the Tokyo Paralympics, a silver medal she won at the Rio Games four years earlier. Here she talks about childhood memories, expensive things and dancing…

Who would you like to meet, dead or alive?

David Attenborough. It has already shed light on fixing the world and has much more to offer than just that. He is wise, he understands this, and I would like to help him help the world.

‌Describe yourself in three words.

Determined, generous, optimistic.

‌If you had one superpower, what would you do ? be?

I would like to be able to change shape or transform so I can be anyone for a day. Imagine being Beyoncé for a day? Or I could be an animal during the day. I could be anyone. That would be great.

‌What's the best compliment you've ever received?

When I was filming SAS: Who Dares Win, Ant Middleton called me a bull. I think it's a compliment, like I'm tough and strong! I also recently got into CrossFit and a lot of parents have been saying how great it is to see someone on social media doing something not for likes but showing the roughest version of themselves. I had a prosthesis while experimenting with CrossFit.

‌If you could switch lives with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

Noel Fitzpatrick, veterinarian. When other vets say it's impossible, he creates methods and finds a way. I love animals too.

‌Favorite childhood memory?

My childhood was filled with my grandparents. Every year at Christmas we made everything from scratch — knickknacks, crackers, used the center of toilet paper rolls. It was a special time.

‌What is your favorite WhatsApp group?

Me and my housemates. It's called Poopshkas — we have dogs, so there's a lot of poop to clean up. It's a lot of bad jokes and videos sent back and forth, usually at my expense. They have a Cocker Spaniel and I have a German Shepherd. They are so cute together; we're not sure if they look like siblings or if they're in love.

‌Most valuable possession?

My grandmother's engagement ring and her peace lily. And my gold medal [Tokyo Paralympics].

‌What song makes you dance on the dance floor?

I love 80s and 90s music so when I'm with my mom and friends it's kind of like I Wanna Dance With Somebody Whitney Houston. If there's a good Cuban salsa, I'll be able to hit the dance floor too.

What do you dream about: a three-course meal and dinner guests?

I am a gourmet and always hungry! I would choose a sausage board that we could all use as a snack. As a main course, ribeye steak with crispy chips and pepper sauce. I wouldn't share a dessert that would be ice cream sundaes. I would choose Tim Peak because I think going into space is really cool. Serena Williams because she is a force of nature. Adele is a very good singer and funny.

Lauren Steadman crosses the finish line to win gold at the 2020 Paralympics Credit: PA/ParalympicsGB ‌You have competed on Dancing with the Stars and SAS. What other reality shows would you like to be on?

I am up for new challenges and want to test my culinary skills at MasterChef or Bake Off. The only thing about Bake Off is that I can bake inappropriately and not stick to the recipe — if it says 100g, I think 105g will do. I cook every night and when I can bake I do. I would probably say grilled dinner is my specialty.

‌Do you prefer a night at home or a night out?

It depends on my mood, what is on offer, and with whom .

‌What's the best advice you've ever received?

That people will judge you no matter what you decide to do with your life, so be kind and sincere and live life to the fullest — you won't get a refund and you'll only get one. So be the best you can be and don't follow the crowd.

‌What's your karaoke song?

I don't think I'll sing, but maybe a big ballad like Adele or a catchy song that everyone will sing like Shania Twain's «The Man»! I feel like a woman!

‌If you had a time machine, would you go back to the past or to the future?

I will definitely go back to the past, to all the most outstanding times in our history, when greatness was achieved. I would like to see an apple fall from a tree, the way penicillin is made…

‌What is your favorite holiday?

I was in Colombia in 2016-2017 — it was New Year's Eve. I went with my housemate's family who lived there so I could experience the whole culture. We didn't do tourist business, but went down south and up to the coffee districts. It was really special

‌Do you have any hidden talents or party tricks?

I feel like my hidden talent is that once I get to a place, I can get there again and again without direction. My party trick is weird unless you have one arm! I can make it look like I ate my entire forearm.

‌What is your biggest non-sports achievement?

Both of my degrees are my bachelor's degree in psychology and my graduate student in business. They took as much time and dedication as my academic career along with my sporting achievements.

‌What is the best book you have ever read?

Harry Potter. I was about seven or eight when they started coming out and when they were released my dad brought the book back to me and for the next couple of days I was a bookworm reading it.

‌ Favorite TV show?

Grey's Anatomy. In the run-up to and during the Tokyo Paralympics, I watched episodes as a distraction. The night before my event, I had a cup of Tetley tea and lay in bed watching episodes of Grey's Anatomy, so I didn't think about the biggest race of my life the next day.

‌What's the only rule you'd like to change your look sport?

It's always swim, bike, run, so why not randomize it so that one day it's bike, run, swim, or run, swim, then bike. Stir. Although it would be very difficult to put on a wetsuit after a bike ride.

‌If you were not an athletic person, what would you do?

A doctor or an astronaut. I really enjoy helping people or doing something good for the planet, so these two activities will be really helpful.

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