Harry Maguire from Saudi Arabia might be perfect. Photo: Getty Images/Ash Donelon
What kind of gas do you use? a blessed sovereign wealth fund that has it all? Answer: most.
It has been the guiding principle of the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund and its sports shopping that has so far garnered Newcastle United, golf and most of the hottest football talent of 2015.< /p
Today, Telegraph Sport can exclusively reveal the rest of Saudi Arabia's shopping list. Although it is generally considered bad practice to divulge one's sources, in the spirit of transparency it can be shown that this list was obtained legally, found at the Riyadh Waitrose trolley shelter. So what's next?
Harry Maguire
perfectly fits these requirements. He is already somewhat out of shape, and this move is good for selling the club as well as the player. In addition, he is already quite unpopular, so he has nothing to lose. Just avoid pre-season tours to Greece.
Jerdan Shaqiri
Surprisingly, he has not yet played in Saudi Arabia. It will take some effort to free it from the notorious Chicago fire, which has already consumed several blocks of prime lakefront real estate, the Sears Tower, and Bastian Schweinsteiger.
Mario Balotelli
Will thrive in a country known for its cold treatment of renegades and unpredictable behavior.
I wonder how Mario Balotelli's antics will be received in Saudi Arabia. Photo: AFP/Andrew Yates Hashtag United
It seems to be what kids like. Should get into this young demo. Maybe this will help with communication.
League Cup
It's not actually used. This should complement the football portfolio and help raise the average Saudi Arabian professional league attendance to five figures. It's time for more variety.
Italian Grand Prix
If America can have two, why not Saudi Arabia? Just turn Monza into a Medina. It is the fourth most populous city in Saudi Arabia and not the place where the miracle of the Ryder Cup once took place.
Snooker
Move over Eddie Hearn, there's a new real crown prince in town and he's got some big ideas on how to monetize Judd Trump.
Will Judd Trump become crown prince of green cloth in the Middle East? Credit: PA/John Walton Crazy Golf
After the pleasant success story of LIV (laughter, love) Golf is the logical next step. If an abundance of windmills and fiberglass scenery can't convince Rory McIlroy, nothing will.
Checkbox
Move over again, Eddie Hearn. Anthony Joshua is the past year, this combined sport (three minutes of boxing, four minutes of chess) is the future. Rishi Sunak will be furious that he didn't think of this first.
The Green Bay Packers
Don't even need to change the color, so no need for any PR disaster on the Newcastle away kit.
< img src="/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/80acb7514e379f4b33105ee1a7fbd50d.jpg" /> Green Bay Packers to Saudi Arabia? Well, they wouldn't have to change the color scheme of their kit… Photo: AP/Matt Ludtke NFL
What the heck, why not buy in bulk?
NBA, MLB , NHL, MLS
American sports : buy three, get one free!
The Nation of America as a Whole
Let's get down to business.
Tiddlywinks
You may laugh, but you've seen ex-IT people in T-shirts compete in the championship the world by tiddlywinks? According to Phil Mickelson, terrible bastards. World domination achieved.
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