Jacinda Ardern: I try to turn self-doubt into ‘something more positive’

New Zealand’s prime minister, Jacinda Ardern, has revealed she suffers “imposter syndrome” and watches “bad crime shows” to wind down.

Ardern won a second term in a landslide victory in October after successfully leading her country through the coronavirus pandemic with fewer than 30 deaths.

In an interview with John Kirwan, a former All Black and mental health advocate, Ardern said she was “clawing her way to Christmas”, but has never found leadership lonely as she prefers a collaborative leadership style. Being around people constantly “makes me happy”, she said.

Jacinda Ardern told John Kirwan she enjoys watching ‘bad crime shows’

Telling Kirwan her main mental health coping strategies include prioritising good sleep and good food, she revealed that she also enjoyed watching “bad crime shows” to “quieten” her mind and unplug. Ardern said she was lucky that she had no trouble sleeping as she was “exhausted” most days. She also said she was an extrovert: “probably like most politicians”.

Ardern unveils New Zealand Covid vaccine deals as economy rebounds

Read more

She said she tried to turn her self-doubt into “something more positive”.

“Some of the people I admire the most have that self-consciousness and that slight gnawing lack of confidence, I think there is a bit of Kiwi in there too – it’s a little bit in our nature,” Ardern said of experiencing imposter syndrome.

“I have tried to channel that … ‘Why am I feeling a bit worried about that, does it mean I need to do a bit more prep, do I need to think more about my decision making?’”

New Zealand ‘wellbeing’ budget promises billions to care for most vulnerable

Read more

Although her exercise regime (“walking”) had fallen by the wayside since becoming prime minister, Ardern said she had replaced it with dancing, as Neve, her two-year-old daughter, loved dancing to children’s songs before bed and when she woke up.

Ardern said she had seen less of her daughter since she stopped breastfeeding and found missing her “very hard”.

“For me it’s a daily struggle, when I leave in the morning and she cries, which is not every morning. Sometimes it’s just ‘see you Mum!’” Ardern said.

“It reminds me that I am not the only one that goes through that, every parent at some stage has experienced that and it just means that I can understand.”

But, she added, “I also tell myself Neve is ok … as long as children are surrounded by a village of love, they’re absolutely fine.”

Ardern also said she believed she had yet to process some of the tragedies that have taken place under her watch, and anniversaries could be triggering. “I don’t think I have processed Whakaari, March 15 [the Christchurch shootings] – any of it at all really,” she said.

For the Christmas break Ardern said she was looking forward to poring over recipe books and cooking, her preferred form of “active relaxation”.

“Over summer I have to be contactable, and I am, but I might leave it [my phone] sitting in another room,” she said.