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    5. Cameron's triumphant return to the House of Lords carries with ..

    Politics

    Cameron's triumphant return to the House of Lords carries with it more than just the whiff of Old Boys' Gaudi.

    Lord Cameron has returned to the House of Lords. Photo: Pennsylvania

    David Cameron appeared before the audience, which looked suspicious. like schoolchildren. Perhaps these children were brought in to bring down the average age of the Lords' European Scrutiny Committee – although even the Foreign Secretary, at 57, did so. In fairness, it must be said that it was not only the age, which was higher than the average in the House of Commons committee; IQ seems to be the same. «

    Lord Dave's first inquisitor was none other than Lord Lamont, who first hired the even more recent Cameron as an investigator back in the early 1990s. “I'm a very practical person,” the foreign secretary purred, as if he were on a blind date, not answering his former boss's question about the EU.

    Lamont was not the only hero of the past. Chairman Lord Ricketts previously served as Cameron's national security adviser. Making an unlikely cameo appearance was Conservative MP and Taliban enthusiast Tobias Ellwood, who held various ministerial and shadow ministerial posts under Cameron. So Lord Dave's triumphant return to the House of Lords carried with it more than just the scent of the Old Boys. The only thing missing was the same plot and anecdotes about “Manna Tuesdays.”

    Freed from his barn, Lord Cameron was back in his element. Their Lordships have, frankly, been a pain in the government's ass of late, but here even the most fiercely independent-minded colleagues were purring as they absorbed Cameron's explanations. It was like an advertisement for the Cat Protective League.

    Catch of the day position has been reinstated

    The Cameroonian hand gestures became serious again as he illustrated the bilateral relationship with extravagant palm swings – as if demonstrating to their lordships the size of the salmon he had just caught. He even had an attempt to defend Rwanda's policies, an idea that you know he thinks is stupid behind closed doors. “While I agree it's expensive, it answers the question,” he blurted out, returning to his catch-of-the-day stance.

    “I don’t want to go back to the referendum campaign,” began Europhile Lord Liddle; a sure sign that this was exactly what he was planning to do. Has the Foreign Secretary changed his mind about the foreign policy and security benefits of EU membership that he so eloquently touted in 2016? I didn't quite understand Lord Dave's answer; but the highlight of the event was the praise of the noble Lord for his heroic work in maintaining links with the EU Parliament. With his ego boosted, he moved on.

    He repeatedly summed up his view of Britain's place in the world with the soapy phrase: “big enough to matter, small enough to be nimble.” Not quite Palmerstonian prose, but in some ways distinctly Dave-esque; could be UK foreign policy doctrine, could be an advertising slogan for a smart car.

    Perhaps the only bone of contention arose when the Foreign Secretary criticized the European Defense Agency; “We weren’t particularly interested in this when we were in the EU!” The feathers ruffled for a moment. “No,” someone muttered. “We did nothing!” snapped Lord Hannay of Chiswick, a retired diplomat. But these were minor skirmishes in an otherwise harmonious session. When he finished, his peers banged tables. The Prodigal Son is back in action.

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