Before last night's ceremony, in my role as Supreme Chief of Television Snobbery, I demanded that the Golden Globe winners eat their greens and hand out the awards to the truly deserving — Beef, Legacy, Bear. Who cares if people actually watched these things — critics loved them, they were artistically bold, and not all television should be measured by bums on couches. This time, in my opinion, the cozy populist Globes should put on its frilly glasses and show the world that knows what great TV actually looks like. (Spoiler: it doesn't look like The Crown.)
So what did the Globes do? They rewarded the truly deserving, giving all but one of the TV awards to Beef, Succession and Bear. And am I happy? Of course not. Who do the Golden Globe-Emmy winners consider themselves to be? While I'm thrilled that Ayo Edebiri, Steven Yeun and Matthew Macfadyen have something to offer on the mantelpiece this morning, I can't help but feel that the Globes should have stuck with their more populist stance.
In the UK we have TV Baftas, which gives out awards to people who appear on Radio 4 like Monica Dolan and Frank Cottrell-Boyce, and we have a powerful corrective, the National Television Awards, which gives out awards to people like Ant. & Dec and Michelle Keegan. Smug TV snobs like me may be delighted by the former, the vast majority of TV viewers by the latter. There is an ecosystem, yin and yang.
Sure, Ali Wong deserved her award for her unnerving steel trap in Beef, but do we think the Emmys are going to reward Riley Keough for her seriously gorgeous hair in Daisy Jones & Six? They are not. I'm second to no one in my unfounded dislike of Ted Lasso, but the show has become a phenomenon and I'm a little sad to see its final season go empty-handed.
Elizabeth Debicki, star of The Crown, at the Golden Globe Awards Photo: Getty
Kieran Culkin was emotionally devastating in Succession, but it was very funny when Gary Oldman farted in Slow Horses, and there should be a place in the world where that is rewarded. And where does the Globes think Taylor Sheridan will receive her prestigious awards?
I suspected that the Globes would give Meryl Streep the award for Best Supporting Actress (for Only Murders in the Building) just for that that she is Meryl. Streep (it was instead given to Elizabeth Debicki simply for her Ronnie Ancona impression of Princess Diana). But the world needs awards ceremonies to wow the stars with glitz and glamour. Give the award to Meryl Streep. She's Meryl Streep! The Emmys won't give her an award just for appearing. Boring old meritocratic Emmy.
Golden Globes, be true to yourself. The TV ecosystem can't thrive if we're all patting the same shows on the back year after year. Someone has to defend a popular, easy-to-watch, guilt-inducing binge. If The Morning Show had won Best Drama over Succession, I'd have been spitting cornflakes. That's how it should be.
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