Wayne Rooney is hoping his time at Plymouth Argyle goes better than his time at Birmingham City. Photo: PA/Bradley Collyer
“Perfect” “The next step” is how Wayne Rooney announces his move to Plymouth Argyle, the fourth chapter of a managerial career that can politely be described as checkered. But ideal for whom? Perhaps for Rooney and his wife Coleen, who are said to be busy house hunting in Salcombe, Britain's most expensive coastal town. But less so are those Argyle fans who, looking at Wayne's record of being relegated twice in three seasons, decided it might be wiser to reserve judgment for now.
< p>It's not just that Rooney's first attempt at cultural assimilation was to call one YouTuber's Devon accent “the worst thing I've heard in my life” – a bold statement for a man whose Scouse accent is so strong that his 2015 documentary B As part of Goals, some BBC viewers complained about the need for subtitles. The fact is that his track record as a championship coach is dismal. If Rooney thought he was unpopular when he replaced John Eustace at Birmingham City last October, it was nothing compared to the anger he faced after taking the team from sixth to 20th overall for 15 games.
Birmingham were relegated to League One earlier this month, their lowest status in 29 years, and many fans place the blame squarely on Rooney. “The worst decision in the history of football” was one of the most popular verdicts during his three-month term. But now he is reaping the rewards of securing his third championship job at the expense of far more qualified candidates.
Take Paul Heckingbottom, for example, one of those interviewed for the role of Plymouth. The 46-year-old has a distinguished history of winning clubs: Barnsley to the Championship in 2016, Sheffield United to the Premier League last year. Rooney, by contrast, is still known solely for beating them – Derby County in 2022, Birmingham this year – even if caretaker Gary Rowett had to reap what the former England striker's disastrous reign at St. Andrew. His only other stint with D.C. United in Major League Soccer ended in mutual separation after he twice failed to reach the playoffs.
By no standard does this work inspire confidence. Except Rooney seems bulletproof, arriving in Plymouth by parachute, barely whispering about his past mistakes. Surely the club did their due diligence by conducting a thorough search. If this is so, then Rooney's appointment defies common sense. Yes, there were mitigating factors to his touchline woes: the chaos behind the scenes at Derby (not to mention the 21-point deduction) all but sealed their fate. However, the Birmingham fiasco cannot be defended. From publicly humiliating his players to winning just two matches, his leadership was an example of ignorance.
Rooney was ready to join the Football League, but where would that take him? Photo: Getty Images/George Wood
And this was the very last evidence on which Plymouth could base its decision. It appears that Rooney was hired less out of a strong belief in his competence and more out of sheer excitement about name recognition. Championship clubs tend to get terribly worried when a figure of Rooney's caliber comes along. Upon arrival, Harry Cook, Birmingham's chief executive, said it was a “defining moment”. Ultimately, all this determined the stupidity of the club's board. Worst of all, they made the same mistake in terms of perceived brand value by replacing Rowett with the more glamorous Gianfranco Zola in 2016, only to see the Italian retire four months later after two wins from 24.
< p>It's not Rooney's fault that, despite his dubious credentials, he was handed the key to another club with lofty ambitions. In some ways, he deserves credit for rejecting the simpler option of the expert's couch. He can be an annoying analyst when he's in a good mood, and he has almost no shortage of offers to continue his work in television. Clearly he wants to improve, to show that he is not as tactically reckless as his ill-fated performances in the Midlands made him out to be. Yet mere desire is not a good enough reason for him to continue to gain plaudits in front of the likes of Heckingbottom or Alex Neal, who have a limited personal profile but a proven championship track record.
There is an undeniable truth in football: the best players rarely make the most effective managers. Even England's greatest ever player, Sir Bobby Charlton, hit his ceiling during a couple of dismal campaigns at Preston. But nowhere is this rule truer than with the country's supposed “golden generation” of the early 2000s. Almost always, members of this formidable England team are found on the touchline.
Frank Lampard is a classic of the “too much, too soon” school, elevated by age to the Chelsea position. of 31, but is now miles away from any Premier League option after one torrid match at Everton and two at Stamford Bridge. Steven Gerrard is handsomely remunerated, albeit somewhat autonomously, in Saudi Arabia. Gary Neville lasted 3.5 months at Valencia in 2016, while Paul Scholes spent just 31 days at Oldham Athletic in 2019. So far there is little suggestion that Rooney is cut from a different cloth. The difference is that he is given more opportunities to demonstrate his shortcomings. On the one hand, its durability can be impressive. But on the other hand, it is unpleasant to watch his habit of falling upward when clubs ignore established talents who worship at the altar of his celebrity.
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