Erling Haaland suffers from 'embarrassing father syndrome' due to Alf's antics

Marca gave Erling Haaland three points out of 10. Credit: Diego Souto/Getty Images

His behavior is best attributed to a sporting phenomenon known as «embarrassing dad syndrome». It is a pathology with some familiar symptoms, not least being useless on the sidelines or interceding in situations where you are not needed. This year is already rich in examples: take Max Verstappen's father Hos, who, in the midst of Red Bull's wild celebrations for teammate Sergio Pérez's victory at the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, wore a blank stare, refusing to make a single congratulatory gesture.

And what about Srdjan Djokovic? This notorious explosive figure nearly knocked Novak off his feet at the 10th Australian Open when, moments after winning the quarter-finals, he posed next to a man holding a Russian flag with the face of Vladimir Putin and wearing a T-shirt with a military logo ' Z' symbol. Although he later claimed that he did not intend to get involved in pro-Putin affairs, this was hardly useful for his son, who had to spend the rest of the tournament defending him.

Before the semi-finals of the Champions League this week, no one, of course, would have put Haaland Sr. in the same net with the incorrigible Srjan. After all, Srdjan has form, comparing Novak's ordeal in fighting the Australian government's Covid-19 vaccination rules to the plight of Jesus Christ: «They're trying to crucify Novak too.» No. 34; Alpha rarely managed to get rid of provocative tissue. After all, his job is not to be a vociferous campaigner, but to be an astute negotiator on behalf of his son. Given Erling's career trajectory, his father's antics in Madrid were not among his most cunning acts.

Erling, on the other hand, had one of the quietest evenings in a City shirt, his usually lethal instincts expertly blunted by Antonio Rüdiger . He had the fewest touches of any other player at 21, prompting Marca to hand out a wild mark of three out of 10. Could Alf's goading be some clever ploy to divert attention from his son's shortcomings on serve? It would have been the most generous interpretation of the match if Haaland had been embarrassed not so much by Real Madrid's centre-backs as by his father's ill-advised attempt to outshine everyone.