Lucas Moura and his family say goodbye to Tottenham Hotspur at the end of their last home game of the season. Photo: John Walton/PA Wire < p>A confusing vignette from last weekend's hectic Spurs season. Stereophonics' «Dakota» rumbled at a disgusting volume after another home defeat, and the outgoing Lucas Moura, a hero of better times, wept on the shoulder of his five-year-old son.
He and his teammates then marched across the field in established end-of-season style, waving to the thinned crowd and several thousand plastic seats. Why did the Spurs deserve the lap of honor? A reprise of Queen Cersei's path of redemption from Game of Thrones would be more appropriate: Hugo Lloris is pelted with vegetables, and Ledley King walks behind solemnly ringing the bell.
Sunday at West Ham, where the fans gather. binoculars help so far from the field, it was difficult to see the team on the circle. The auxiliaries, friends, well-wishers, local dignitaries, and men dressed as giant hammers must have numbered in excess of 200.
Anything that helps families and children have a more enjoyable time at football matches should be encouraged, and the now-traditional Kopa goal scored by Mo Salah's daughter McCoy is delightful. But the notion of a lap of honor has become empty.
In the pre-Premier League age, teams wouldn't normally greet their fans after the final game if there wasn't a trophy to parade. In the 1980s, the priority was to run before the pitch was invaded and the turf was subsequently cleared. Now the lap of honor is expected regardless of the circumstances.
Of course, many of these are now technically «appreciation circles,» a sinister rebranding not nearly as dystopian as people calling what was once called a holiday an «annual vacation,» but still to be resisted. But there was a time when the end-of-season ritual meant something. Okay, not much. But something.
It was a chance to interact with the players as people so softly changed from a complete set out of context, as if they saw their teacher in the supermarket. It was an enticing novelty, now ruined by social media that shows us too much context. Now we know not only what these players wear when not equipped, but also how their voices sound, what video games they play and what decentralized blockchain technology they support.
Before the celebration, the cops turn on their sirens, I don't mind the lap of honor other than the automatic assumption that it should take place. It's time to wean from this and, perhaps, an independent regulator will deploy the algorithm. If: [league finish] > [average predicted league finish] or [fans not overly annoyed] then: «honourlap», otherwise: «no_honourlap».
In that spirit, here's the verdict on who in the Premier League is allowed to end — season stage this weekend and for what:
Valid achievements
Manchester City won the league, Newcastle United qualified for the Champions League, Brighton & Hove Albion made their way to Europe and Manchester United finished fourth. You can be the one to explain to Roy Keane why this is worth celebrating.
Great overachievement
Brentford and Fulham could have lost but finished in the top 10, Aston Villa under Unai Emery was a revelation and Arsenal's latest games shouldn't detract from a season after Pearce's wildest sexual fantasies Morgan. .
Strong finish
Liverpool have recovered from chronic atmospheric problems and hopes are up again. Roy Hodgson made Crystal Palace unexpectedly fun, Bournemouth and Forest are happy to stay up, as is the survivor of the Everton/Leicester/Leeds deathmatch.
Borderline
Nobody is in a hurry for memorable DVDs disks with «Wolves». and West Ham 2022-23.
Are you kidding?
Tottenham, Chelsea, Southampton and two relegated teams from Everton, Leicester and Leeds. Apology circles perhaps, but actually we could afford to be a little more continental here. These players have to hide in the dressing room and watch out for the windows of their car.
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