Imelda Staunton in The Crown Photo: Justin Downing/Netflix
“Think of The Crown as a public limited company, but about the people of Britain as shareholders.” That's what Tony Blair tells Queen Elizabeth II in the second part of series six of The Crown, at a meeting designed to encourage the Firm to start tightening its cash flow. Naming a series of archaic-sounding titles, from “Keeper of the Swans” to Herb Strewer, buck-toothed Prime Minister Bertie Carvela attempts to shine an unsparing light on the royal house's apparent excesses, calling for “a purge of honorary positions; a sinecure fire could be a useful concession and a PR victory.”
The Queen (played by Imelda Staunton), meanwhile, is less convinced, reminding him that “overturning centuries of royal legislation is no easy task” before meeting with all her charges to establish exactly what they are doing.
Hugo Vickers, royal biographer and author of The Shattered Crown, says it's “so easy to ridicule” roles such as Rouge the Dragon's Chaser and Lord High Admiral Wash, “and that's what The Crown does, of course… [but] Why not just leave them alone?” It's “sad,” he adds, that long-standing titles such as ladies-in-waiting have been renamed “companions” by Queen Camilla – perhaps a signal that other titles will also be phased out. Here are some of the more intriguing royal jobs that Carvel's Blair has proposed cutting:
Golden Stick Pending
The Gold Waiting Stick, along with the Silver Waiting Stick, are among the many military appointments in the royal household that “you're likely to see on the troop colours” along with other state occasions, Vickers says. . Princess Anne was the golden stick at the king's coronation; this role (along with the Deputy of the Silver Mace) is essentially the ceremonial bodyguard of the monarch, and the Service of the Golden Mace itself dates back to Tudor times, when a conspiracy theory prevalent during the reign of Henry VIII led to a courtier accompanying him at all. once with an ebony staff with a golden pommel. After Queen Victoria, the roles became less about military protection and more about ceremonial ones.
Princess Anne was the golden stick at the king's coronation . Photo: Toby Melville/PA Wire Herb Strewer
The original call for a royal herb-spreader came in the late 17th century, “because London smelled so bad,” says Vickers, that “of course on an occasion like a coronation they would scatter beautiful scented flowers [such as lemon balm, chamomile and tansy] in front of the monarch so that he doesn’t have to go through it holding his nose.” In 1821, the role was filled by George IV's friend, Anne Fellowes (married to William Dorset Fellows, the great-great-grandfather of Downton Abbey writer Julian Fellowes), who was appointed to the position at his coronation at Westminster Abbey. . This role was discontinued after Queen Victoria ascended the throne.
The Yeoman of Glass and China Pantry
The man responsible for curating the royal household's tableware collections “is obviously doing a good job – you need someone to look after the china and glass,” Vickers said. Different sets are used for different cases; “If the French president came and they had a set of French china, which I’m sure they do, they would bring it.” The yeoman's role extends to other materials, such as 170 monogrammed linen napkins folded into the shape of a Dutch bonnet for visitors to state banquets.
Yeoman of the glass and porcelain storeroom at Windsor Castle, 2005. Photo: ROTA/Anwar Hussain Collection/Getty Images Piper to the Sovereign
“We have heard nothing but bagpipes since we were in the fair Highlands, and I have loved them so much that I want to have a piper who could, if you like, play the bagpipes every night at Frogmore,” she wrote Queen Victoria her mother, the Dowager Duchess of Kent, in 1843 while visiting the Marquess of Breadalbane at Taymouth Castle, excited by the prospect of having a musician on call. This tradition continued at least throughout the reign of Queen Elizabeth II, for whom Paul Burns served as an alarm clock, playing every morning, no matter what residence she was in, and “the Queen loved it,” says Vickers with the words “Sleep.” “Dear Dream,” sang at her funeral. Burns is also (along with the pipers of the Balmoral estate) the only non-royal person allowed to wear the Balmoral tartan, which historian Kelly Swaby says is “the most restricted tartan on earth.”
Hereditary Great Falconer
The role “has always been occupied by the Duke of St Albans since the position was created for one of King Charles II's many illegitimate children,” explains Swaby. “As an illegitimate child of a sovereign (as was the case with Charles Beauclerc, Charles II's son by Nell Gwyn), you are not in the line of succession, so you don't really have any power or influence. But since [Beauclerc] was in court, he was therefore close to the sovereign.”
Although in the early stages this role was thought to be related to the acquisition of hawkbirds for the royal sport, it is now both hereditary and honorary matter, Swaby adds.
Illustration of the Duke of St. Albans, hereditary great falconer, at Vanity Fair in 1873. Photo: Sepia Times/Universal Images Group via Getty Images Washer of the Sovereign's Hands
“This only happens once during the reign,” the Queen of Staunton insists on the ceremonial bathing, a task that actually requires three staff members. Queen Elizabeth II's coronation took place a year after her coronation in 1953, when Peter Howieson Craufurd, 28th Laird of Craufurdland Castle, held the title until his death in 2012. He earned it after one of his ancestors drove off a pair of thugs who attacked James V., and in return he was given a farm – on the condition that his family would always be willing to wash their hands of the sovereign. A Telegraph report after Huison Craufurd's death recalled that “he always had a silver pitcher, bowl and tray with a linen towel ready.”
Royal barmaster
The royal barmaster “was responsible for an important part of the monarch's transportation apparatus,” explains Robert Bucholtz, a history professor at Loyola University Chicago. Until the mid-19th century, the royal family traveled along the Thames on barges, which “were richly decorated and luxurious and were the site of King George I’s famous water party on the Thames, for which Handel choreographed Water Music.”
The men responsible for rowing the barges were known as the royal watermen, of whom 24 retained this position (halving from 48 under King Edward VII). They are recruited from the Waterman Company of London, and each is paid a small honorable sum per annum; “From 1660 to 1702 [the Master] received £30 a year as wages. Under Queen Anne, this figure rose to 100 pounds,” Bucholz said. Chris Livett has been a bargemaster since 2018, and his responsibilities include performing ceremonial duties on the Thames (such as during the 2012 Diamond Jubilee) as well as watermen serving as footmen during state occasions.
George VI bartender in 1946. Photo: Hulton-Deutsch Collection/CORBIS/Corbis via Getty Images Astronomer Royal
John Flamsteed, the first Astronomer Royal, appointed by King Charles II in 1675, was tasked with creating an accurate map of the night sky for navigation. Flamsteed carried out his duties from the Tower of London, where ravens reportedly landed on (and contaminated) his apparatus. He is perhaps the most famous of this cohort, having been a linchpin in the creation of the Royal Observatory (and butting heads with Isaac Newton). The title became an honorary title in 1972 and has been held by Martin Rees, Baron Rees of Ludlow since 1995.
Keeper of the Swans
“Someone's got to look after the swans,” the Queen of Staunton tells Carvel's incredulous Blair during their talk about cuts. This responsibility, first established in the 13th century, is now entrusted to ornithologist and professor Christopher Perrins, Warden of the Swans (formerly known as the Royal Swans and Keeper of the Royal Swans), who oversees the habitat and welfare of the birds.
The Royal Family does not, as is commonly said, own all of Britain's mute swans. “They may be claimed by the sovereign and the monarchy, but they are not automatically the property of the monarch,” says Swaby, noting that they have long been a status symbol in British society.
The series. six from The Crown are now on Netflix
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