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The day I called a cocky army fat, drunken clowns and lived to regret it.

English fans yelling «no ball» to Brett Lee during the 2002 Melbourne Test, prompting a response from Justin Langer. Photo: EPA/William West

The moment was brilliant theatre. Ollie Robinson fires centurion Usman Khawaja and gives him a fiery send-off in the heat of the Test of the Ashes.

At the time, I thought Robinson would have problems with the referee. Like it or not, you can't swear on the cricket field, especially if your anger is directed at your opponent.

The next morning, when I woke up from the press, my eyebrows were raised more than Khawaja had spat out. I chuckled, shook my head and thought «stupid boy». I had a pretty good idea of ​​what was going to happen next.

At his press conference that evening, Robinson said: «We've all seen Ricky Ponting, other Australians do the same to us.»< /p>

Now you're asking for trouble, mate.

Ollie Robinson became Australia's #1 public enemy after his confrontational bowling celebration with Usman Khawaja. Photo: Getty Images/Ryan Pierse. back reaction. You take over the whole country here.

It's no wonder the old teammates jumped on you.

I describe it as if I saw your little brother being beaten on the school playground. When this happens, you jump to his aid. Given this scene, it has always elicited reactions from Australians at home and here. Like a dog in a landfill, we protect our own.

The Panthers are a big boy and Robinson's comment seemed somewhat random, but I wasn't surprised that it drew an onslaught from the Australian media and some of my old teammates who called Robinson. We're doing Ashes and it's all part of the theatre.

Just one of Ashes' great quotes from Matthew Hayden about Ollie Robinson

«Then the other guy, he's an unforgettable cricketer… A fast bowler who bowls at 124 (km/h) bare nuts and has a mouth from the south.»

Big Dos gets bigger with age better

— Will MacPherson (@willis_macp), June 22, 2023 Deletion, hitting the legend, and predicting three-elevenths when those same rabbits win. Dogs in the dump often bark.

«We can't repeat what you posted in the whatsapp group» 🤣💬

Ricky Ponting reacts to what Ollie Robinson said about him and Australia doing the same thing in the past 🗣️ pic.twitter.com/4oAtDnbekI

— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) June 19, 2023 , this was one of the strengths of the previous teams I played for. Team camaraderie is like the glue that holds things together, especially when there is pressure, and that pressure often comes when you or one of your teammates is having a hard time. Siege.

Now it will be interesting how Robinson and England will react to this. Will there be more hostility? Will he be England's top driver for the rest of the series? If that's the case, his comrades should all support him or else Ollie will be torn apart if he posts this without delivery. He may say that it doesn't bother him, but over time these things have a cumulative effect.

Sledding is one of the realities of Test cricket. Often the match between bat and ball is easy. The problem comes from all the other distractions and noise.

I remember after scoring 250 points in the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne in 2002, I walked into the press conference looking smug like Sir Vivian Richards. In the last hour of that day, the Barmy Army called «no ball» every time Brett Lee bowled the ball. This was due to their perception of the bent arm.

It was all fun and play until I naively replied something along the lines of «Most of Barmy's army are fat, beer-drinking clowns who don't know much about cricket.»

Stupid boy. The dogs in the dump barked again, or, in this case, sang.

Barmy Army in full voice Down Under in 2002 Credit & Copyright: Getty Images/Darren England

The next day in the field songs began to sound thick and fast. Then came the song of the seven dwarfs about my height, and then there was my words about being overweight, twisted to make a fool of me. Lesson learned. Now I can laugh about it and luckily we are all friends now.

If I were to single out the most common question I get asked about the game, it would be «What is the best sled you've ever heard on a cricket field?»

Some of them have become part of cricket. folklore. In most cases, quite a lot of new stuff is added to the stories.

For years, the Australian cricket team has been known as the «ugly Aussies» because of the perception of sledding. Of course, there were periods of time when this could take place. But in my experience, there have been only a few isolated instances of deformity.

The whining I knew took the form of a sly remark, made with a bit of humor, in order to distract the enemy from concentration. Rarely did this action provoke anger, and in most cases the joke brought a smile to both opponents. The late great Shane Warne spent the summer chirping Ian Bell, calling him the Sherminator, referring to Chuck Sherman, the red-haired American Pie star. We thought it was fun, Belli probably not.

Nasser Hussain put me back in the box

As the 12th player in the 1997 Ashes series, I was at one point a bench fielder. In an attempt to bring some energy into the game, my buddy Nasser Hussain quickly reassured me by telling me that I was just a bus driver, not good enough to get into the starting lineup, and I should just shut up. Honestly, I think right in my drawer.

At times there may have been a few puffy chests and a splash of emotion, but overall it was a fun part of the game.

In my opinion, the best sleds come in the form of body language or gaze. Who could forget how Mitchell Johnson said to Jimmy Anderson in 2011: “Why are you tweeting now, buddy? No wicket» only for England, who quickly took the wicket on the next ball. He held out his hands, urging, before putting his fingers to his lips, as if to say, «Hush, Mitchell.»

You don't have to say anything. These actions hurt more than any words. You know what they say about sticks and stones.

There are times when sledding goes too far and no one needs it, especially the game.

Test match in front of Sandpaper Gate in South Africa, there was an embarrassing incident between Davy Warner and Quinton de Kock on the dressing room stairs. Up to this point, there has been a big buildup of tension, but the script has been bad for everyone involved.

Bantering is part of the game, but there is no place for insults.

When I started coaching the Australian cricket team, there was speculation that the team fell into the trap of acting like 'ugly Aussies'. To avoid this perception, we discussed the line between banter and insult. In life, including in the sports field, there is no place for abuse. Simple. Full stop. The line is wrong, obviously.

Jokes, whether you like it or not, are part of the game. But nothing good comes from insults, anger or hatred. Insult someone in everyday life and you are either a bully, a villain, or looking for trouble. It's the same on the pitch.

Ashes cricket is intense and moments happen, but most importantly, if you're going to say the word, you'd better back it up with action. Nobody cares what you say, they only care what you do. If you can't, you look like a bit of a clown and you can be absolutely sure that you will be reminded of it.

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