Two drops, 12 no-balls and low pace — perhaps training should make a difference for England

As with most England attacks, it was a tough day for Ollie Robinson. Photo: Getty Images/Gareth Copley

It was Ollie. Robinson's moment to prove that his right hand can shoot with the same ferocity as his mouth. It's time for him to strike back at Matthew Hayden, the former Australian First Tournament player, who called him «an unforgettable cricketer» and Michael Clarke, the former captain, who said from a radio studio in Sydney that if Jofra Archer or Mark Wood would be in this England team , he would «play clubs again».

Unfortunately, his florid outburst against Usman Khawaja at Edgbaston was followed by a bowling game at Lord's that could best be described as monochrome. Delivering a 78 mph delivery that Steve Smith merrily milked for singles while scoring six no-balls? It wasn't exactly a master class to silence Hayden, who accused him of serving «bare nuts,» Australian slang for walking balls that don't get thrown, don't swing, and scream to be hit. At the time, it sounded like a harsh sentence. On this evidence, it seemed perfectly justified.

Even after this steamy England opening day, Robinson boasted an impressive bowling average of 27.3 against Australia. But it was one of his most underperforming performances, doing little to dispel his critics' claim that he was a glorified middle-pace runner. It doesn't take a cryptographer to figure out the person Kevin Pietersen had in mind when he lamented that «bowlers are running at 78.79 miles an hour — it's absolutely erratic.»

«Are you kidding? Are you really JOKING? 😤

Kevin Pietersen is NOT happy with England today and says it was «messy». 😳 pic.twitter.com/eTJ50UBTnm

— Sky Sports Cricket (@SkyCricket) June 28, 2023

In truth, Pietersen's diatribe over tea was the most intense contribution to England's cause of the day. For long periods of all three sessions, there was an inevitable feeling that the home side was letting this Ash drift dutifully. Where is the fire, the growl, the defiance? To capture the suffering of England, it was worth studying the scene on the field before the game even started. David Warner and Khawaja were both loaded and ready while the bowlers were still roaming the long room. If you were polite, you could tell that they lacked urgency.

England will strongly dispute this characterization. All along, the rhetoric has been that they have created a relaxed environment in which the skills of their players can shine to the fullest. But at times here, this laid-back attitude bordered on the apathetic. Not satisfied with a couple of catches, they sent 36 extra balls, including 12 no balls. All this gave the impression that England, with all its unshakable faith in the virtues of Bazball, forgot how to take care of the basics.

The history of the day did not lie. Under such a leaden sky that the searchlights of the Lord were lit, England, having won the lot and organized an attack on all fronts, sent more cakes than delicacies from St. John's Wood. Robinson was the main culprit, removing the polish from Marnus Labouchagne's wicket-taking with too many handballs that Smith and Travis Head could break to breaking point at will. Stuart Broad and James Anderson weren't much more dangerous, showing their combined age at 77, as Australia put them in a total figure of 101.

Stuart Broad had a day to lose himself with a ball on a cloudy day Lord's Credit: AFP/Ian Kington

Ben Stokes, so much expected of him as a strike bowler, was clearly still suffering from the effects of a knee injury, and he was relegated to the role of fifth roller. When Joe Root, who worked part-time between matches, got the best shots that killed Head and Cameron Green quickly, you knew England were in trouble. Root at least had the virtue of knowing what the batsmen were thinking, tossing the tempter far beyond the stump to lure Head into the Johnny Bairstow dead end. His teammates, on the other hand, were devoid of inspiration.

There is rarely a single explanation for why teams don't live up to the expectations they set for themselves. But the mantra “Don’t prepare, prepare to fail” has worked well in all sports. And in many areas England's mobilization for this series has been less than diligent. While Australia sharpened its claws in the World Testing final against India, Stokes and his Bazballers took off for a four-day golf party in Scotland. By all accounts, this experience did wonders for team bonding, but perhaps not so much for the intensity of the match.

It looks like the flaws exposed by the Edgbaston defeat have not been fixed either. While Smith and Labouchamp were careful not to give away their wickets as cheaply as in the first Test, Brod, Anderson and Robinson went back. The result was a glaring missed opportunity. On the day England needed to make a big statement, they were too often painfully mute.