It's fair to say Arsenal's new kit has been divided. Photo: Getty Images/David Price
Everyone is talking about Arsenal's new away men's kit. That's great news for Adidas until you hear what they have to say.
Traditionalists hate it, form connoisseurs aren't convinced, and, most of all, Adidas's biggest concern is many young fans. It seems like a shame for a normally well-represented team with a proud history of away kit. Charlie George in a Wembley yellow, Dennis Bergkamp in gorgeous gold and navy blue for Wenger's first double, and Andre Santos in the proto-joking era of the 2012/13 season, wearing the purple and black stripes of a suburban My Chemical Romance fan.
How will this form be remembered? It's an aggressively ugly color, polka dot pattern and wavy lining is disgusting, and no one wants to look like the new enthusiastic zebra. Perhaps it's the kit pedigrees that seem deliberately terrible, so bad they're good. Ready to spend £80 or £110 on an outrageously tight «authentic» version to test a theory?
Of course, there is the usual chatter from Adidas and Arsenal that confirms the need for some sort of polyester ombudsman. “The design features flowing black lines inspired by the map of Islington,” we find out. Oh yes, Islington, the only place where roads are marked with black lines. They also represent «traveling fans from the club's home area on away days». Certainly. Of course there is.
Then, inevitably, is the superb launch video that adds the radio theme. It's an occasion to take out fans of the Musical Arsenal, including rapper AntsLive, DJs Sherelle and Scratcha DVA, Islington Youth Choir, bassist from Wolf Alice and Martin Kemp from Spandau Ballet. No, the last one is not a joke. Not a single demographic itch has been eliminated.
Ready to show the world the best of Islington 📻
Introducing the new Arsenal x @adidasFootball 23/24 Men’s Team away kit 👇
— Arsenal (@Arsenal) July 18, 2023
Following this, the kit was seen in a real football game against the MLS All-Stars on Wednesday night. As expected, it looks much better on professional football players than on a nice guy from an indie band. But how often will we see it in this context? Manchester United had a similar shade of luminous green on their third shirt last year. They wore it twice in their first four games before removing it before the final match at Bournemouth in May. The Wolves wore the away kit twice during the season.
Whether you despise or just hate this new Arsenal jersey, the most irritating part is the gap between the brilliance of its advertising and the ugliness of the product. It's actually the central idea of the ad that spending £80 will make you as cool as AntsLive, when in reality you look like a minor tribute band's version of Spandau.
This is not a big tragedy, but for the fans, form matters a lot. They are literally paying for the excesses of rough design. An independent football regulator may have more urgent business to deal with, such as malicious owners to keep Southend from becoming Essex Bury and gambling ads to persist like a Japanese Highlander, but there are changes he can make here without obvious downsides.
The last kit is a far cry from the club's former glory. Photo: Allsport/Shaun Botterill
Forcing clubs to stick to a two-year cycle for their uniforms. Alternate home and away every year so there's still something new to sell, but give each set a chance to make memories. Watch the design improve as clubs and manufacturers find out they've been stuck in jerseys for more than a few games.
Perhaps over time this new stripe could become yet another 'banana bruise', the iconic 1991-93 yellow and black kit that was decried at the time, but is now so beloved that there are 42 items in the Arsenal store with this pattern. But «traffic officer's marble cake» will have so little attention that we'll never know. The new kit is even more shocking, but now makes a lasting impression, as do the Watford managers.
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