Fawkes turns his attention to a one-night cricket with Surrey this month. Credit: Getty Images/Harry Trump
Ben Fawkes looks out over the sun-drenched Oval, where he won the century for Surrey on Thursday in the sleepy setting of the one-night MetroBank Cup against Leicestershire.
In another world, last Monday, he could have been part of the epic conclusion to the Ashes series on this very earth. Less than 24 hours have passed since the end of the test summer that left him unnoticed, and despite the long conversation, there is not a hint of bitterness from Fawkes. He admits that he feels gutted, abandoned and even lost. But sour grapes? No.
It was mid-May when Fawkes got a call from Brandon McCallum saying he was being dumped to accommodate the returning Johnny Barstow. But it had been in slow motion for months before.
«I would say I've been thinking about it from all over New Zealand,» he tells Telegraph Sport. “One way or another, a decision had to be made. I knew about it.
“I did a pre-season media day here for Surrey and one of the journalists said, 'So you keep your gloves warm for Johnny' and I was like, 'Oh, that's how it is! I'm not on my way.» There was always that suspicion, and when I got the call, there was nothing you could do about it.”
“It's just a weird empty space in your head.”
Fawkes was gone, including for Barstow two games after. was named man of his first series in Sri Lanka in early 2019.
This downgrade, however, was different for several reasons. The first was positive as Fawkes did not complain about «really good» communication in England. In McCallum's call and another Rob Key, he felt «respected» and supports England's more sustainable approach to selection these days. They pick a show and stick with it.
«That's the right way to do it,» says the 30-year-old actor. «Everyone has bad games, but if you cut and change what happened in previous modes, no one will ever play their best cricket.»
Another difference was harder to swallow. Fawkes had a great year under McCallum and Ben Stokes. In nine games (he missed three, mainly due to illness), he averaged 38.9 and held up well. But Bairstow was England's flag bearer last summer, and when he got injured, Harry Brook was also brilliant. Fawkes was squeezed out.
“The first time I got kicked, I was the best player in the series, the best I've ever played, and then I was out two games later, but those two games didn't go well,” he says. “Especially at the time if you had a couple of bad games, you felt that something might happen.
Fawkes was in great shape last summer before England, photo: Getty Images/Lindsey Parnaby
“This time I did well and was happy with my game. You feel a little lost. You achieve exactly what you want, your career takes a certain path and then stops and goes in a completely different direction. So it's kind of depressing because you don't really know what to do, because you can't tell yourself that you didn't do well.
“The guys that got picked did a good job too. There is no sour grape, it's just a strange space in the head. I had a pretty hectic career, and then you are where you want to be, perform, fall.
“This is a selection, people had to make a decision. No matter how it went, I can understand the decision they came up with. I'm not furious. I'm gutted. This has happened before and this is how you deal with it. In the past, I was confused by this, but this time, maybe more than anything, because I was doing well. It's about how you refocus and go well from it rather than letting it drain you and suck the dedication out of you. How to refocus? You don't have to play for England. It could be winning the Surrey Championship, more T20 cricket games.”
Fawkes has no regrets, including falling 35 points to line up a lower ranking as England lost one series at Wellington in February, which he doesn't think would have mattered. “Here, the leadership is good, but rather ruthless,” he says. «I would really like to win this game, but I don't think it would change anything.
«It was hard to watch»
Fawkes stayed away from the Ashes but watched as an ardent England fan, from a unique vantage point — not least that he could be swept into it in no time. He was a sub for England's concussion team and could even be used as a support goalkeeper if Bairstow suffered another injury.
«I found it quite challenging,» he said. “But it was cool to watch, it was so interesting. Everyone was taken by it.
“It was difficult to watch, but I spent most of my career watching what was happening from the side. Last year I felt like an England international for the first time, not a county player, coming in from time to time and feeling like you're playing your last game anytime. It was the first time I felt like part of a team in terms of support. Therefore, not feeling anything to do with it, you feel like a part of it. You've played with them all, you know what they're going through, you want them to do well. Unfortunately, he did not win, but what he did was great for the country.”
One of the last differences was that it was Ashes and it was supposed to be Fawkes' first.
“Everyone is desperate to play Ashes,” he says. “It seems to take over the whole country, unlike any other series. You are remembered for what you do in the Ashes. The guys that do well in this forge fake their names, it would be nice to do that, but that's what it is.»
Fawkes began to feel the pressure of the upcoming selection decision during England's winter tour of New Zealand. Photo: AP/Andrew Kornaga.
This is reflected in the answer. Fawkes vehemently avoids all forms of media, both social and more traditional, but Surrey teammates have cited the widespread support he has received before and during the series, and has been stopped on the street several times by fans eager for him to play. . .
«Personally, I don't see the benefit of reading good or bad press,» he says. “I will play my best cricket when I have a clear mind, not up and down. If good things are said, it can be distracting, and it is the same with bad things. The hardest thing about international sports is the extra stuff. When I was younger, I used to read things and I was told about weaknesses that I thought were my strengths. And then learn about the strengths that I considered my weaknesses.”
Whether he knew it or not, there was an uproar every time Burstow was fired or an opportunity was missed, but Fawkes knew the call would only come from an injury. You also feel like he wishes the wicket debate was a little less polarized. He doesn't see the current debate as a 1990s rivalry between his mentor Alec Stewart and Jack Russell, and his respect for Bairstow is clear.
“In England there is always a debate about goalkeepers because there is only one place and a difficult decision,” he says. “Opinions always differ. When someone succeeds, he calms down, but then he can raise his head. If you're in a position, you know it's going to pop up.
“I don't know if I see it as Stewie versus Jack. Stewie was a really good goalie and hitter. Jack Russell was an elite next-level goalkeeper whose track record was not as strong. I do not see myself in this dispute, I am rather somewhere in the middle. I don't consider myself someone who holds but hits a little. I am a medium. It's always «you're that guy or that guy» in the chat. I would not say that I see myself in either, but this is a comparison.
«I'm going to try and hit him.»
Fawkes is still in the process of accepting himself. The “vent” to his partner helped, as well as the newly arrived golden retriever Ralph, and a break in Florence and Bologna. As well as the fact that he is chasing a third County Championship with Surrey.
However, he wants to «develop» his batting. Fawkes said in February: «I'm not, as you would say, a baseball,» but he's pleased with the progress he's made in expanding his game with England — from a regular mid-county bat to a more active No. 7 tail job — even if that wasn't enough to keep him on the team.
This process will continue when he plays regular white ball cricket for the first time in years (perhaps with an eye on franchise cricket) this month, even one-day cup, which he and many others call «depreciated» in the off-season too. Taking the «unorthodox path and putting all your eggs in one basket, red ball cricket», the white ball game is really attractive.
Fawkes is arguably the best wicket-keeper in world cricket. Photo: Getty Images/Philip Brown
“If I put my all into the red ball and you don’t make the team, you will end up in a bit of a wobble,” he says. «So I'll probably take advantage of this period later this year to try and get it over with.»
However, he doesn't feel «done» with England at all, even if he has yet to talk to them. about his international future; it would be a huge surprise if he didn't tour India in January.
However, for now, he'll be doing what he's always done: calmly continue his game.
«I don't the kind of person who tries to show people and be that guy,» he said. “I play best when I'm really focused on the process. I'll just try to find my best cricket, block everything else and try to win the championship. It's a great distraction.»
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