BBC's How to Conquer the Ashes is lazy nostalgic TV

Ben Stokes was featured in the BBC documentary but didn't look like he wanted to be. Photo: Getty Images/Philip Brown

The BBC filmed a sitter with the recent documentary How to Conquer the Ashes. This is both a missed opportunity to look under the hood of this uniquely beloved and enduring sporting event, and a depressing example of how television refuses to delve into indirect sports programming. If English cricketers play without fear of failure, then this program is afraid of thought.

The overall impression of the one-hour document now available for viewing on iPlayer is that someone came up with a great title and then realized that actually learning or explaining «how to win the Ashes» feels too much like hard work. What is missing? Offhand, the program might be of interest to cricketers or casual sports fans if it addressed questions such as: what were the common factors between the winning teams, the common difficulties faced by the losers, what could England or Australia do? do it differently this time? What is the role of the wrist, is it possible to win ashes without an attacking spoon, is reverse swing as important as it once was, will it come to the fore again, what are the pros and cons of preparing seaming pitches, how important is the pace of hitting the ball, what does it affect rank of captain?

Unfortunately, instead we have your usual talking head show, one of those cheap, pointless space fillers like I Love the Eighties or Favorite British Sitcom. By the time Jonathan Agnew explains «Flintoff brought a team with him» or Mitchell Johnson says «I was emotionally drained», you're praying for the sweet release of death, or at least Del Boy's fall through the bar.< /p>

No analysis, no depth, no meaning. The viewer is supposed to have an endless appetite for the same stories told by the same old well-known faces, and similar to the endless broadcasts about Manchester United in 1999, the Treble begins to smell of this artisanal swamp standard nostalgia. Also, just as Sky can give the impression that they invented football in 1992, there are rumors that the Ashes were actually competed for a few years prior to 2005. Not that you know about it.

Without arguments or points of view, just chatter, sports as light entertainment, these incredible contests and feats are reduced to background music. Cricket fans, and license fee payers, are deprived of these things. Of course, there are a couple of dozen interviewees, many of whom are already paid by the BBC in various positions in radio or television. But few of them have the time or inclination to say something interesting, and none of them say anything that hasn't been said a thousand times before.

Among them is Adam Gilchrist, who for some reason adopted the speech patterns of an AI chatbot. “We had some of the best cricketers in the world,” ChatGilli says. Why stop there? The technology is already there for AI-rendered WG Grace to say, «They came here to see me create shareable content, not watch you bowl.» Why not eliminate the human element and simplify programming even more?

Or maybe Steve Smith could highlight one of the most exciting and idiosyncratic ball-batting techniques ever seen in a top-level game ? «You just focus on that red thing coming at you.» Right.

One man sure of his role in the entire national mood of 2005 is Radio 1 disc jockey Greg James, who was once again used in BBC cricket productions as our youth correspondent. He's 38 this year. James loved 2005 because «the drum I've been beating for ages is finally sounding.» On behalf of a grateful nation, Greg: Thank you for bringing attention to the sport of Bradman and Tendulkar.

You can't blame the gaming experience on the many participants, but there are so many that there is only time for one-line audio fragments; how to listen to snippets of their afternoon stuff without the funny naughty bits. Can't we do better?

Perhaps no one surpasses Ben Stokes, who seems to prefer to be elsewhere. He is asked the main question. «How to win the Ashes, Ben?»

Stokes: «Beat Australia».

More on that as we have it.

Have you watched the BBC show ' How to win ashes? What were your thoughts? Let us know in the comments below